Throwing Like a Gay

Polisci 101 has included numerous topics, including why we go to college, what dead dudes say about how life should be lived, and how African Americans should handle inequality. One of the most prevalent articles for me was Iris Young’s "Throwing Like a Girl". At first, I didn’t know why; I felt a connection to the article even though I’m not a girl. As I was walking through the diag the other day, I was pondering the question of why I feel so strongly attached to this issue when it hit me: it’s because I’m gay. 

See, girls make up fifty-percent of the population (well, a little more, but that’s semantics). People in the LGBT community, on the other hand, make up a minority of the world, and although our world is moving towards equality, there is still a sense of unfair treatment. This unfair treatment parallels the examples Young uses in her essay. She asserts that women experience their bodies as weak which causes them to experience a gender role of femininity. Dramatic body motions, lifting up heavy objects, and the ability to perform actions and activities thought of as "for boys only" are all looked down upon if you're a woman. For me, being a homosexual man, there are many issues that I feel correlate with the issues Young mentions because gay dudes feel pressure to restrict themselves and their bodies in a similar way. This has nothing to do with biology as all boys are made of the same genetic material. This pressure is the same that society puts on girls. It's like gender roles, but it's exclusively for us.

I'm not sure why I like this show

People can take us and our abilities for granted. Just as Young states that women experience their bodies as fragile and therefore have an inability to use them effectively, there’s a certain societal standard that gay boys are supposed to experience their bodies as weak and be feminine.  Now, I’m not saying that all of us have to be masculine; having the Carson Kressleys and Ross Matthews make the world more colorful and complete. The problem, though, is when this perception is used by the media to make the world believe every gay guy is fragile. Some gay boys love shopping, but some of us love lifting weights more. Some of us love watching reality tv—and I will admit; if I see that Oxygen has a Bad Girls’ Club Marathon, you better believe my afternoon will be spent on the couch with Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream in one hand and a bag of Cool-Ranch Doritos in the other—but some of us like playing basketball with our buds more. We have the ability to use our bodies just like straight guys, yet we're expected not to.

Oh, and if you think I'm done talking about stereotypes and experienced feminity, you better bet your season Michigan Football Tickets for 2013 that I'm not. Can we just talk about how gays experience an inability to affect their space around them. Like, can we just talk about this? Young makes a similar argument for girls, saying that girls feel unable to take advantage of and change the spatial surroundings around them; they feel confined and trapped, acting as an opposite to boys who feel that they can control and affect their surroundings. When I’m referring to this concept about gay guys, I’m not necessarily talking about it in the literal sense. I’m talking about the abstract concept for us dudes to influence the ideas and suggestions around an audience of stereotypical bros, gaining their respect in the process.This goal can be almost impossible for us to achieve sometimes. If your voice or ideas come off as even slightly feminine, all the brochachos are just like “dude, no. Why would we listen to that suggestion? That’s freakin’ gay.” Like, what? Are you so uncomfortable with who you are as a person that you can’t even conceptualize the idea of doing something slightly outside of your gender role? Is watching Here Comes Honey Boo (probably the most perfect show in the universe) really going to make your girlfriend think of you differently?

See, even Honey Boo Boo agrees 

Let me tell you something, buddy. I probably talk to her more than you do, and she’d probably think of you as dreamy if you were bold enough to admit that you liked that show. I’m just sayin’, bro. My ability to influence a room, or the body of people within one, is next to impossible when either A) people hear my voice or B) my suggestions are not stereotypically masculine. This doesn’t make me feel all hunky-dory on the inside, and it sure doesn’t make me feel like I can stretch my arms out and open my legs in a way that stereotypically portrays masculinity. In fact, it’s situations like these that make gay boys more prone to certain gestures like crossing their legs, putting their hands in their laps, and keeping their bodies constricted. They don’t feel in control of the people and area around them to feel like they can effectively take control of their space.           

Pretty snazzy, huh?

    Young also mentions a concept called "The Gaze". This idea is that women are viewed in society as an object of sexuality. Because of this objectification, they feel pressure to act and look a certain way, making them sacrifice the ability to use their bodies to spend more energy on appearing socially acceptable. For irony and relevance, in this post, I’m going to refer to this concept as “the gays”. As much as I'd love for some straight guys to like checking me out, "the gays" is more about how the gay guy perception causes insecurities in my life. As I previously stated, society has a perception of gay people as feminine. The looks I get when I rock my bright orange American Eagle Jacket or my long-sleeved green, white, and black stripped shirt with a hood are astounding.  I genuinely believe that “the gays" affects my ability to perform at certain points in life. If I get a long stare from a person that clearly doesn’t appreciate boys having a unique sense of style, I feel judged, and it definitely takes me at least a moment to shrug it off. If I’m in a lecture or taking a test, this can affect my performance. Maybe this doesn’t affect me at every moment, but I would definitely make the argument that it affects my performance at certain times. What’s even more frustrating is that the clothes that the fabric I put on my body have nothing to do with my ability to use my body effectively. They shouldn't put a sense of pressure on me They express my creativity, not define or stereotype me.

You’ve heard enough of my venting. What do I and the general gay boy population want? Equality. Just like how Malcom X wanted equality for African Americans, I want social equality for my minority. There are without a doubt some gay guys that love shopping, hate exercise, and want people to view them as their best “gurlfrannnnnn!” that couldn’t lift a ten pound barbell if Channing Tatum walked up to their door and asked. This gender role, however, is not what all of us want. Some of us want to be able to chill with our straight guy friends and have a conversation about football without having to feel like we’re inferior. Some of us want to be a mix of both, having the respect and freedom of motion, control, and expression that other guys get while feeling like we can express our feminine traits without being stereotyped and physically confined. Society seems to be progressing towards this, so I hope we will reach this equality point soon. If we don’t, though, my gay boys and I have our ways to get you all to listen (watch the video below for how).